Please Don't Misunderstand Me

I've been thinking a lot about prayer lately...I have never been one to question God at all. I figure if there's a problem, it's with me and not Him. My questions began a month or so ago because I felt so led to pray for someone in a certain way (or so I thought, maybe it was just my own perception of how to pray) and it totally did not go as I hoped or imagined it would. In fact I was sad because they did not respond at all like I believed they would and I thought to myself, "Why does God say pray at all? In the end He accomplishes His will and plan so why even pray specifically? Why not just pray God's will be done?" That was too close to questioning God for me and I moved on but continued to wonder what good does it do to pray for specifics.

When our prayers are answered is it because we prayed? When our prayers are answered "no" does it matter that we prayed? Why do we pray for things that seem so completely in God's will and the answer is "no"? How should we pray and how should we feel when a sincere prayer is answered "no"? Is God's will accomplished without our prayers? When we need an answer and seek Him without ceasing but never know for sure, what does it mean? Are some areas of our
life just too mundane to matter? Are there decisions we can make without being certain of God's will?

Please don't misunderstand me...I believe in prayer because it is Biblical. I believe many of my prayers have been answered over the years. I will continue to pray but I have had these nagging questions lately and wonder if I can't answer them for myself how could I give an answer to someone who questioned me about my prayer relationship with God.

Truly for me it is enough to accept that God is BIG, huge, extraordinarily above me and my thoughts. I accept that by faith. I believe God is wise and loving and nothing He does is wrong or bad or evil. But is there any other way to explain it to others?

Jesus told John the Baptist's disciples, "Blessed are you when you are not offended by me..." and soon after that John was beheaded by the wicked, sinful Herod. Were they offended? I'm sure they'd prayed without ceasing for John's release and instead he was martyred. Am I
offended when my prayers are not answered as I hoped? Perhaps I am because I can see no reason God would say "No". Then it becomes a matter of my limited perspective and God's all-seeing, all-knowing perspective.

This becomes very raw but it might be where my questions began. I have a friend, who is a
Christian and her young child died in a tragic accident and my friend discovered her body. She
looked me in the eye and asked why her prayers for her child's safety were not answered and then went on to ask what good in the world could possibly come from her daughter dying in such a way. Could God ever say to this mother, "Here is the good that came from that?" Startling and difficult to answer.

Once again, please don't misunderstand my questions. I will continue to pray and I firmly believe God is so good and loving and complete. I would like to continue to ponder these questions and if you have thoughts about these questions, please share.

"But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man
that asketh you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear" 1 Peter 3:15