Some Christmas Past

Here are some random pictures of Christmas. I love you all and wish you the merriest Christmas of all. We are so blessed, aren't we? :)

I Feel Like A Number

I used to say, "the less you do, the less you wanna do" and "the more you do, the more you wanna do" and that was pretty true. Now I say, "the more ya do, the less you wanna do." Age does change so many things. It is more than just a number. At least physically...

In my head I feel the same as I have always felt. Nothing much has changed there. But physically, oh my gosh, just miss a few days walking and it feels like starting over. And my poor right arm doesn't stand a chance...radial artery transection from my heart cath and now this awful contusion...it hurts ALL the time and I wonder if it will ever get better. Yes, it has improved some but the deep, dark ache is always there and if I turn it wrong, I want to cry :(

It's just all so surreal, being older and my body starting to let me down but I'm still the same silly, hyper me. My head is still 13 and my body feels 113 at times. The frustration is maddening some days. Eat right, exercise, don't smoke, don't stress, stop those Mt. Dews, take these pills...I long for all those years I was healthy and didn't even know to appreciate it. I guess years from now I'll look back at these days and see how great they were. Oh me...

It's Christmastime (thanks for looking that up, Miranda) but it doesn't really feel like it to me. I have been trying to focus on the true meaning and listening to everyone say it's not about gifts and stuff but really it IS about being able to get those you love something special. This year I'd planned to hand make my gifts for the adults but I injured my right hand. Lol haven't had a check in three weeks so not gonna be doing much Christmas shopping and I just don't feel good, mentally or physically, so I lay around and look at pinterest and Facebook and watch the few shows I like on TV. The steroids make me manic, the pain pills make me nauseous and sluggish, and this roller coaster ride is getting very old.

I know in the big scheme of things all of this is meaningless. There are people in frightening, treacherous, painful, and hopeless situations. I am just a whiner who needs to count my blessings and shut up. So I will...Merry Christmas to all and most of all thank You, Father, for the most perfect gift of all, Jesus, Who gives me fresh mercies and restores my soul every day of my life. O come, let us adore HIM...love!

I Am NOT All Grinchy (I have a little spirit and a little tree!)

Workmens "Comp"less

Ever been hurt on the job? I don't recommend it. This is the first time I've been hurt at work and I started nursing way back in 1985. Seems like a million years ago but I was young and excited and thrilled with that $7.14/hour! Lol so much has changed.

Now I'm fairly burnt out and although I make more money it never seems to be enough :) Honestly I'm very blessed but the 66 2/3% of $7.50 I'll be getting paid for my laundry folding this past weekend probably won't pay many bills and just forget Christmas. But the company paid a cab $89 for a one-way trip for me to fold that laundry. Hmmmm they can pay cab company nearly $200 to transport me but only pay me 2/3 of minimum wage...I'm not feeling the love! And the professionalism is non-existent.

Soooo I did fold laundry for two 12-hour shifts this weekend and my injured right hand is worse and my uninjured left shoulder now barely moves. I'm off that horrible "light duty" again and will be reevaluated tomorrow. I told the nursing home administrator that I felt folding laundry with one arm caused my left shoulder pain and she replied she does it all the time. Nothing like a little one-armed laundry folding to start your administrative day! Yeah right!

Today I get my 3rd session of therapy. I'm excited and hoping it will involve some, you know, therapy! The 1st day included ice for 10 minutes, moving putty with my fingers for 5 minutes capped off with 3 sets of 10 thumb circles. Session 2 was 10 minutes of ice, an evaluation of my workspace to determine if it could be improved (my hand was swollen and I could barely move it after 1 1/2 hours of laundry folding earlier that morning) and after much consideration it was determined that it could not be improved and I was instructed to do 3 sets of 10 thumb circles AT HOME!!! Okay, once again, I am not feeling the love!

This ordeal has been a nightmare and I am considering new professions. Any suggestions? I have taken care of sick people for 26 years, cleaned dirty butts, wiped up vomit, literally skied through pools of blood in the floor, I have laid on the altar of nursing punishment, and this is my reward. Now I am injured, AT WORK, and this is how I'm treated. How sad! Needless to say I am very blue but still hopeful that this will all turn around at some point. Time will tell :)

Postscript: Carle Hospital in Urbana called Tracy's phone yesterday, he answered and they asked for me. Due to my close proximity he handed me the phone!!! Oh my gosh! What do I do?? Hello? The sickening sweet-voiced woman on the other end informed me that she hated to bill me for the $61,000 that my insurance declined to pay but it looked like she was going to have to do so...silly woman, give it a whirl!!!

LAUGH OUT LOUD!

(can they repossess my stent??)

The Noise In My Head Is Overwhelming Me!

Sooooo...you know what that means, blog followers, I must pour it all out here so I can clear my head and try to make sense of all the clamoring in my brain. Lucky you, dear reader lol. I am sure there might be two or three of you and suggestions are welcome!

Last Saturday I was injured on the job. If you notice many errors in this post, I apologize, but my right hand is injured and I am using my left index finger to type. The metal narcotic box lid dropped down on my right hand last weekend and that is not a good thing if you are on a blood thinner, which I am. I believe the impact burst a few blood vessels in my hand and by the end of my shift my hand was swollen, bruised, and throbbing like crazy. Now it would have been nice to have been able to go home when I injured it, and ice and elevate my hand, but as always in healthcare there is no one to come in to work and my silly determination not to put my coworkers in a bind left me trying to work despite my injury. If I had known where all this was leading I would have certainly left as soon as it occurred.

So I tell my nursing supervisor what happened and after pages of paperwork and the drug testing I am informed I must go to Baptist Hospital in downtown Nashville in order to be covered by worker's comp. Okaaaay...Tracy comes and picks me up after my shift is over (I can't drive because my hand is too swollen and painful by now) and we go to Baptist where I fully expect to spend the night waiting. But surprise, they were very efficient and I was in and out in 2 hours. A side to this part of the story is my conflicting feelings about being in an ER and now working in a nursing home. Oh my gosh I felt compelled to tell them I had been an ER nurse for years but I didn't. Yes, I'm a nursing snob and I have issues and these feelings are a part of the much larger conflicts I face but more on that later.

The Xray of my hand was negative for fractures (I really didn't think it was broken but had to be sure) and the ER doctor said I had a severe contusion (bruise) and that I needed to rest, ice and elevate my hand and in time the blood would reabsorb and the pain and swelling would decrease. He put me off work completely for three days and "light duty with no use of my right hand" until December 5th. Hmmmmm what can you do and not use your right hand??? Well according to Bethany that would be...fold washcloths for $7.50/hour. So I report to laundry for my next three workdays and fold washcloths. I work 12-hour shifts so that is a lot of washcloth folding. I hope I don't develop bursitis in my left arm.

Please don't misunderstand me, I am not too good to fold washcloths, or wash clothes, or wipe butts or clean vomit or any of the million awful tasks I have done in 26 years of nursing and I have NO arrogant attitude at all. But I am an RN and one would think there was something I could do in the facility that was more in line with my skills and experience. And something that paid better than laundry's minimum wage because I can't pay my bills or have any kind of Christmas after suffering this financial blow. No it's nothing long-lasting, just for five or six days, but enough to knock me back down for awhile.

I cried all day Tuesday when I was informed of my fate. Just the thought of it was overwhelming! No one has called to check on me, I have to work in laundry at reduced wages, I was injured at work but I am being punished and penalized in every way.

So I started thinking about getting a new job. I can't go without insurance but travel nursing starts insurance on day one with no waiting period...hmmmmm. So I check my old travel agency's website and they have an ER opening in Smyrna TN!!!! Well that is only 4 miles further than Bethany from my house and oh my gosh, surely this is meant to be!! But oh yeah it is ER and nights and that's why I left Bethany, isn't it? Aaaaaargh!!

So I have been sorting through all my manic thoughts and trying to come to some conclusions. Yes I left ER because it was physically and emotionally draining and night shift was really hard on my body. And I went to Bethany for day shift and a change of pace. But I must admit I have been terribly depressed as the days go by at Bethany. It's been over 3 months since I started an IV. I have been involved in two codes and felt like my experience and skills were pointless as I stood by waiting for an ambulance to arrive and take the resident to the hospital ER to do the things I used to do. I tell myself that elderly nursing home residents deserve nurses with highly developed skills and loads of experience. But every day I become less and less a skilled, experienced nurse and more and more of the nursing home kind.

And what about all that talk of professionalism and bringing more RNs to Bethany to improve the level of care and elevate the reputation of the facility. Laugh out loud (spelled out for emphasis) The management staff who interviewed me wondered out loud why they couldn't recruit and retain more RNs from the hospital setting. Well, let's think about that. Most hospitals have a blood pressure cuff in every room. Bethany has two full-service machines (temp, B/P and pulse ox on one piece of equipment) on the entire second floor serving 60-70 residents. Sometimes 12-15 of my residents need one or two blood pressures during my shift and I have to track down a machine, take the blood pressure and hope the machine isn't swiped by another nurse when I turn my back. I asked for more machines about a month ago and was promised they would be ordered...still waiting. And what about this narcotic box lid? Do you know how many nurses said they'd had the same thing happen to them in the past? MANY! Only difference? They weren't on a blood thinner. Obviously the lid is a hazard that is perpetual and I bet nothing has been done to secure or improve them since I was injured. I will let you know when I'm returned to nursing from my temporary laundry assignment.

So I am working through all these emotions and concerns and basically grieving the loss of my skills and then I get injured on the job. After I was seen at the hospital for my injury, I returned to Bethany with all my paperwork and was told by the night supervisor in a sarcastic, sing-songy, laughing manner that I was headed to laundry at minimum wage. I just couldn't believe it! But she was right as I was informed on Monday to report to laundry on Saturday.

So I have spent my day on the phone to travel companies, working on my resume, contacting potential references (AGAIN! Didn't I just change jobs???) and trying to sort through the pros and cons of all my options. Tomorrow I start paying $500/month for shitty (sorry Mom) insurance at Bethany. Travel nurse insurance is even worse but much cheaper. But I've almost decided it doesn't matter because The Medical Center insurance has denied my hospital claims with my heart attack because it was "pre-existing". Hmmmm never had heart trouble in my life but they denied it stating I had hypertension previously and told me that was why they denied the claim. I appealed and got my answer today...I owe Carle in Urbana around $63,000 and I owe The Medical Center over $11,000. Plus all the doctors and various tests and Xrays and EKGs so I owe nearly $100,000 and I HAD INSURANCE!!! Or not, whatever.

Song of Solomon says, "Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines..." and that is how I feel. I am not starving to death, I don't live in van down by the river, I am not dying of cancer or a terrible disease, I can walk, and talk, and think, and see and hear, I have a good paying, due to my education I have always had a secure job and income, I have a wonderful family, I'm not outside in the freezing temperatures, I have heat and warm blankets, I have access to clean, fresh water and I took a shower today and most importantly I am saved by Jesus, God in the flesh, and my future is secure in His hands and plans.

But the little foxes may drive me to drink, swear and take up smoking again! The last year has been nearly overwhelming and now I report to laundry on Saturday. I am tired, uncertain, and confused by much of it. Posting about it all really changes nothing but it makes me feel better somehow. Thanks for listening and prayers, please and thank you :)

Simply Aaaargh!

"Total fat intake, especially saturated fat and trans fat, plays a larger role in blood cholesterol than intake of cholesterol itself."

"Given the well-recognized role of cholesterol in cardiovascular disease, some studies have shown, surprisingly, an inverse correlation between cholesterol levels and mortality."

"Cholesterol is a 100% necessary ingredient in the processes that sustain life. High cholesterol levels do not come from cholesterol in your diet. Instead, high cholesterol levels result from interference with cholesterol utilization."

"After monitoring 5,000 people for several decades, the Framingham Heart Study determined that people who eat more cholesterol have no more tendency to develop coronary heart disease than anyone else."

"High cholesterol levels come from the partially hydrogenated oils, shortening, margarine, and high fructose corn syrup that are now ubiquitous in the American diet. Dietary cholesterol is of no consequence. So people are mystified when their efforts to avoid "high cholesterol" foods like meat and dairy products have no effect, and they resort to using drugs to fight the ever-rising tide of cholesterol."

"Most people can generally get their cholesterol and triglyceride levels back to normal by:
*Doing plenty of exercise (check)
*Eating plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, oats, good quality fats (check)
*Avoiding foods with saturated fats (check)
*Getting plenty of sleep (check)
*Bringing your bodyweight back to normal (working on)
*Avoiding alcohol (I always avoid alcohol because it tastes so awful)
*Stopping smoking" (check! check!)

So I guess you can see where I have been spending my "internets" time today. And my head hurts now and it seems the more I read the more confused I become. Who knows? Even the experts seem to disagree.

I saw my doctor yesterday (actually his nurse practitioner) and had my lipid testing done. I was so excited to see the results! After all I haven't smoked since my heart attack, I exercise 4-5 times a week with some hard walking, I have been eating so well (salmon, flax seeds, milk enriched with omega-3, walnuts) Oh my goodness, I have been such a good girl! My goal was to prove I did NOT need cholesterol medications. Was I ever let down! :(

My numbers had nearly doubled in some places and everything was up from before 3 months ago! I was heartbroken! So I've spent a lot of time reading about cholesterol and diet, which I did right after my heart attack and I thought I was on the right path. Apparently not!

I took my first Crestor last night despite all my misgivings. I'm going to keep looking into this and learn as much as possible. One thing I have already discovered is the giant gap between conventional and holistic medicine. They do not meet anywhere!

Also I read that high fructose corn syrup (HFCS) can lead to rapid rise in cholesterol and the main delivery system for that? My Mt Dew bottle is full of it. Now I must admit that recently I have returned to my old "crack" because I have to get up so early for work and that caffeine really helps get me going on the way to work. (yahoo, Mt Dew!) And yes, maybe I was having one after lunch to recharge me, or MAYBE I JUST LIKE MT DEW!!! How about that? I apparently can't have anything I like very much...no smokes, no French fries, no Mt Dew, I haven't even had my annual McRib deliciousness this year...what IS next?

But I am going back to the old tea and water regiment and will see what my numbers are in 6 weeks. If they go down I won't know if it's the medicine or the elimination of HFCS so I will have to reevaluate and keep praying. Other than those terrible numbers, everything else was good! My blood pressure was 94/50! How about that from crazy, manic me lol

So here is a challenge for you...there is no doubt HFCS and partially hydrogenated oils are poison to our bodies...try to go all day without ingesting any! Then try a week or a month...it is not easy! Give it a try :)

Today is Tobey and Lola's birthday! Happy birthday sweet girls! One I will see tomorrow and one I will see in heaven and I love them both so very much! I love ALL my girls so very much! I AM blessed beyond belief :)

Yes We Are Still Here (Barely)

I guess if ya don't have much to say there's really no point in blogging. But I re-read my entire blog tonight and realized how nice it is to document my life even when it's mundane and boring, which honestly it is most all the time :)

Fall has arrived, pretty much peaked in an awesome color display, and winter will probably begin to sink its claws into us soon. I heard it is going to be 27 degrees in a night or two and this depressing time change has it dark by 4:30 or so. But fall has been beautiful and I will enjoy the last remaining days of it.

I think I'm kinda in a rut. A week or so ago I posted about a lost day and then last week was a lost week and now I'm heading in to another lost week and what's next? A lost month? Lol Everything feels unexciting and I don't have much energy. Walking is a HUGE drag which is unusual for me. It doesn't wear me out, I just don't wanna go in the first place. My weight loss is at a grinding, screeching stop and I've just lost interest. Work is okay but has not turned out exactly as I'd hoped so I am readjusting to the changes there. Like I said everything seems blah and mundane and it's kinda dumb to write about such nothingness.

Tracy is lost in his last 4 weeks of the semester where everything piles up at once and the end is so near but WAY too much to be done until then and although we are here at home together fairly frequently, I feel like we are ghosts to each other. He has so much to get done and we both look forward to December, when the semester ends, although a few weeks from that ending a new beginning starts...two years of nursing school. Oh me :)

Speaking of nursing school, I read an article in the Tennessee Nursing Association's newspaper about bullying in nursing school, the tremendous stress of nursing school, and in the field of nursing, in general and it made me sad and mad. Nursing school and then a career in nursing is a hard road to travel. There are rewards in nursing but there are many trials. I think because nursing is so full of psychopaths, it makes the professional difficult, even more difficult than it is to begin with.

I mean, think about it...who are the people who sign up to "nurse" others back to health? Sure there are some Clara Bartons and Florence Nightingales out there and hats off to them. But there are lots of insecure, codependent, needy people (women) in nursing and they make a tough profession worse. They are the ones who "eat their young," refuse to share their experience and knowledge with others, and are constantly backstabbing, complaining, and drag the profession down with their martyrdom. A person I work with told me recently, " You worked in ER, you can figure it out..."

Fortunately I could figure it out but not because they were willing to share their expertise and knowledge with me. Later I found they have angst toward RNs because they are an LPN and feel threatened by the difference. Sad, unprofessional, and a lack of mental health, I would say.

So I've decided to mentor some nursing students. One thing I've always loved doing is training new staff members because it is a perfect opportunity to influence them for good, both as an employee and as a professional. I love to teach by example and influence a nurse to recognize the good things about nursing. Yes, I'm often pretty burnt out myself after 26 years of it but never when I'm orienting someone.

I never complain or speak negatively about my profession when I am training someone. I take pride in what I do and that I do it well and want to share that with them. Now that I'm in a new area of nursing I won't be training anyone for awhile, so I think I will try mentoring. I'm gonna read about what makes a good mentor and then give it a try. I'll let ya know how it goes. Tracy may be my guinea pig lol

Gonna get some sleep so perhaps tomorrow won't be lost...but who knows? Love, love, love!

A Lost Day

Today was a lost day, a day without much purpose and no accomplishment but I think my body needs these kinda days sometimes. The weather was rainy and cold, gray drizzle sprinkled with true downpours at times. I sat in my brown leather chair and let most of the day roll right past me. Oh I crocheted some, I iPiddled some, I listened to music and mostly got lost in wikipedia, running rabbit trails from one entry to another.

I love biographies, the stories of people's lives just draw me in. Even obscure people, people I don't even particularly care about, their stories often interest me. So I enjoy getting on wikipedia, starting with one person and then clicking on links and weaving my way throughout an assortment of people, never knowing where I will end up. Today I went through most of the motorcycle gangs, famous bikers, then veered off to several rock bands and groupies, then ended up reading about Katy Perry and Russell Brand. Then I looked up the history of the ampersand for Tracy :) I read about corsets, shrimp, and a dozen old movie stars. Wikipedia is pretty amazing!

Food today was awesome! We drove to the greenway to walk and it began to rain hard so we took that as a sign to have breakfast at Cracker Barrel lol. Then I decided I didn't want breakfast so I had the lunch special, a grilled chicken salad and a baked potato. Sounds like no big deal but it was super good! Then for supper, Tracy made ravioli with shrimp and marinara sauce with salad and wheat rolls...oh my gosh!!!

So I call it a "lost day" because I planned nothing and did nothing but I did enjoy my nothingness and will try to overcome my guilt about getting very little accomplished :) Since it rained we didn't walk today but here are pics from yesterday's greenway excursion... and a pic of Rough River I took on our honeymoon just because :) and remember this app just makes a total mess of picture order lol It's lost today too! (I don't blog on the computer anymore because it makes me wanna smoke and BTW almost 3 months without a smoke! But I still want one!)

Love!

Crochet Along Project Completed!! YAY!

A milestone for sure...I finished a crochet project and I just love the cowl I made!  Apparently Tobey thinks it is very dumb to wear a warm cowl in 80 degree weather because it must be Indian summer in Tennessee!  LOL  Vote for me!

Blahg, Blahg, Blahg :)

Okay it's been a long time  and I have decided my long lapses are all related to having to use my laptop to post.  I have totally become an iPad person and wish I never had to use any other form of technology.  My laptop takes forever to come on and has several crappy buttons, namely the spacebar and the backspace buttons are sticky and have to be hit repeatedly to work properly...I downloaded the blogger app to my phone and iPad but it just acts crazy and puts my pictures in crazy places, if it puts my pics on the post at all.  Arrrgh!  I love to post but need a new way to do it so I will be inclined to do it more often.  But anyway...

Welcome FALL!!!  The temperatures are perfect, the flannel sheets are on the bed,  the windows are open, the mums are gorgeous and there is a corn maze in my near future :)  What an awesome time of year!  The kids are coming next week and we are going to Gallatin for a corn maze and hayrides and lots of autumn fun times!  I just can't wait.

I am always torn this time of year by my love for the season and its festivities and my fears that some aspects of the season are very unChristian.  I have never been in to the dark, scary kinda Halloween stuff but have always loved the "anything goes" kinda feel of the season.  I don't like blood or scary movies and don't even like being scared at all.  It is always a fine line to walk for me and now that I have grandchildren, even more so.  I bought some stuff to make them tricks and treats cards and then decided maybe vampires, skeletons and ghosts weren't the right thing to expose them to.  But they are such cute vampires, ghosts and skeletons, smiling and happy, not creepy or scary...I just don't know and not knowing bothers me more because if there was nothing wrong with the imagery, would it concern me at all???  Anyone have any thoughts out there?

 Decidedly "unscary" tricks and treats stuff

Work is going well and Tracy and I worked our first weekend together this past Saturday and Sunday.  It was great to ride to work together and something about him being there made the day go by faster.  The little old ladies at the nursing home are in a whirl about us being married and working there.  Actually the ladies just love Tracy because he is so sweet and takes the time to listen to them and have conversations with them :)  One lady asked me this weekend if my hair was natural or dyed and when I said, "natural," she reminded Tracy, "it won't be for long!"  LOL  She is trying to make the moves on my man!  He is very kind and they pick up on that just like I did!

Wednesday is the two month anniversary of my heart attack.  It is still very surreal and sometimes almost seems as if it did not happen.  I haven't had a cigarette since then and for that I am VERY happy but otherwise life seems pretty unchanged.  I am still walking, still trying to eat clean and trying to de-stress my life.  Being off night shift has helped so much although I must admit getting up at 5AM feels very stressful when the alarm goes off but I think overall I am better off.  I miss the ER a lot and have a PRN job offer but will have to think about it :) It still feels funny when I say I had a heart attack and people's response is always surprise and hyper-concern.  Next month I get my labs all checked including triglycerides and cholesterol.  I have not been taking Crestor as I was instructed to because I believe I can lower these levels through diet and exercise.  We will see...

Autumn on the Greenway (it looks like I am carrying a cat in a bag LOL)

Somewhere along the way I decided to try to make all the Christmas presents we give others this year and have been working madly on the projects.  I don't know if I will be successful and may end up at the mall Christmas Eve feeling like a failure but I am gonna try!  Someone told me there are 6 paychecks 'til Christmas which is totally true and unbelievable!!! 

Still working hard to eat right and here are my roasted brussel sprouts...cut sprouts in half, toss in garlic, olive oil, and a few drops of honey and cook for 20 minutes in the oven...Verdict?  Yummy!!!

 Come and visit us and I will cook you some delicious meals...Love!

Oh Yeah, WHAT IS GOING ON???

P.S. Miranda and Corey and the girls spent the night with us Friday night and around midnight Miranda decided she needed some Claritin for sneezing, etc. So we drive to Walmart to procure said Claritin and on the way home guess who gets pulled over for no right tail light? That'd be me!!! Needless to say I had a full blown anxiety/anger attack. I'd really like to be left alone...just sayin' :(

What's Going On?

Today it is official...I am now a day shift person, having completed my orientation at Bethany and worked my first 7A-7P yesterday.  I will be working 7A-7P on Saturdays and Sundays and 3P-11P on Wednesdays for now but I hope that changes to 3-11 on Mondays soon so I can go to church on Wednesday nights, so be praying that happens for me quickly :) I am off today but I woke up at 5:15AM this morning and then immediately went back to sleep!  Getting up at 5AM for work has not been easy on this night shift girl who has always been a night owl but I KNOW being off nights is going to be much easier on my body and I am soooo blessed for that! But going to bed at 9PM just makes me angry! LOL But I like my new job a lot and hope I continue to enjoy it.  I tend to like most new jobs during the learning curve (i.e., the Ambulatory job) but then kinda drop off and start to miss the ER. 

My new job is very fast paced with a 3 1/2 hour medication pass as soon as the shift starts.  That entails giving a multitude of medications, nutritional supplements, eye drops and everything else they need to 22 elderly patients who have just woke up and want to get up in the chair or go to the bathroom or eat right now! That has been quite the challenge for me but that is good because I seem to enjoy the challenges of the work world.  Guess that is what drew me to the ER for so long and I must admit I am already looking back at the ER with misty-eyed nostalgia.  But not to worry, I recognize those days are gone forever and will look for the best in my new job, which includes being easier on my body, better hours, and the opportunity to take care of some very sweet elderly people who deserve highly skilled, experienced nurses to care for them.

I have had some trouble admitting to others that I now work in a nursing home.  Nursing snobbery, I suppose, but it is a grieving process that I must work through.  My body has let me down (translate: I am too old to work in the ER anymore) and I have left a career that I did well for many years plus I have finally figured out one reason I loved the ER so much.  I am a very manic person at times and working in the ER burned a lot of that mania off.  Without that outlet to burn off some of the energy, I am a little wild right now (AND I have not smoked since 8/4)  but I am working hard to make the trade offs work in my head and recognize how blessed I am to be alive and to be physically and mentally complete, although some might argue with that! LOL 

So other than work what else is going on?  Let's see...Tracy got a job at Bethany, too!  Yay, we can ride to work together some.   Autumn is starting to work its magic around middle Tennessee.  My container gardens have made a huge comeback after I completely cut most of them back to nubs and fertilized them, which is kinda sad because now winter is gonna end them again.  Miranda and Corey went to Vegas and now are home safe and sound.  I started and hope to complete a crocheting project. The Jones sissers came and stayed a few days with us.  I got new tennis shoes, a new sewing machine, and new Hello Kitty mirror from my awesome husband and...well, surely some pictures are worth 1000's of my words :)

Autumn leaves that have fallen on the Greenway path.

The Greenway is in full bloom with beautiful autumn wild flowers.

My mums are thriving!

Here is a plant that was "dead" when we got back from Illinois and I cut it way back and added some fertilizer and in a few days it was just beautiful!

I just love this picture of Miranda and Corey...aren't they cute???

Two Jones sissers on the kid crack known as Netflix and Cheetos...I am such a bad Granmama LOL

The youngest Jones sisser having a sink bath :) She is the sweetest little baby ever!

The yarn I bought for my "crochet along" project I am doing with Miranda...but I have gotten a bit intimidated by it because I have discovered I really don't know how to crochet and I am having some trouble ridding myself of some old habits but I am gonna try to get back in it and complete the project because I just LOVE this yarn!!

New walking shoes...

New sewing machine (!!!!!, isn't it awesome!)

New Hello Kitty mirror...I have the sweetest husband on earth.  I have admired this mirror for over a year and he got it for me "just because" :)

I know, I know, this picture is sideways but I couldn't resist posting it because Lexie and Harper picked peppers and flowers from my garden and decorated this chair for me and Tracy :)  How beautiful, just like they are!  Life is good, God is good and love to all!

Time Flies

Well, once again it's been awhile since I've posted. I have been working and sleeping, all the stuff I did on night shift but now I'm with the majority of the world instead of constantly out of sync :)

We got some crazy rain over the past weekend, close to 4 inches, and Honey Run Creek is absolutely gorgeous! The temps have cooled down tremendously and it feels like fall has arrived. Tracy bought me some mums today and they are another good indicator!

I made my first chili of the season a few days ago and it was tasty. Love those earthy, warm fall flavors. Can't wait to make a pot of soup or stew!

Here's a picture I took during last weekend's rain...the picture doesn't do the scene justice because the camera had no zoom (iPhone!) but the foreground was dark, dark, dark and the trees in the background were catching the golden glow of the setting sun and they looked as if the were on fire. Remember those trees are still green...but they look golden yellow in the picture! Amazing!

Going to sleep now. I'm a day shift person now and midnight seems VERY late! Lol. Love to all :)

P.S. Using a new ipad app to post and it's got my pictures out of order and they aren't with the text they belong to but hopefully they will work out the bugs because I love my iPad! Sorry!

Writers SHOULD Write...

Wow, a week since I last posted but it seems like yesterday!  My body and mind are in a bit of shock from all the recent changes...I am now on day shift doing orientation for my new job so I have been getting up at 455AM, which used to be a good time to go to bed.  My morning routine has been pared down to bare essentials and I have about 35-40 minutes to get out of the house and out on the road.  So I am a little frazzled in the mornings and then get to drive to Nashville! YAY! (not) But I must admit my drive is not that bad because Tracy picked me out a wonderful route and the traffic isn't bad and I have not had one panic attack...oh yeah, except for the speeding ticket I got on the way home my first day!  Apparently the speed limit on Briley Parkway from I-24 to I-40 is 45 mph!  On a four lane divided highway the speed limit is 45 mph!  Who knew?  So as everyone flew past me, I get pulled over.  Oh my gosh!  I didn't really have an anxiety attack, more like an anger attack!  I just could NOT believe he was going to give me a ticket! But he did and he sucks!

Another change I am going through is the total shift of gears from ER to a nursing home.  Don't get me wrong:  I am loving it so far but I have gone from acute care microwave cooking to long term crock pot cooking and I have some adjusting to do!  But so far so good and I think this could be the perfect mix for me...it is fast paced but no constant "life and death" and there is time, lots of time to get things done.  Tracy has applied for a job there so pray he will get hired there and we can work together!  Also my schedule did not work out like I hoped and I will be working every Sunday and Wednesday for the time being, so pray that changes real soon so I don't have to miss much church!  I love our church and want to go there often :)

Latest cooking updates:

Carrot bread with dates, raisins, and walnuts!  Awesome!

Homemade healthy pretzels!  (Unless you eat the whole batch in one sitting)

(I didn't but I was tempted!)

Once again homemade and yes, healthy Egg McMuffins!  Yummy, cheap, and easy to eat on the go in the mornings! 

I haven't sat down and worked on my book in a LONG time.  My own mottos are "Writers should write" and "Just write."  After deciding the other day I needed to write for awhile,  I thought of a few things I needed to do first:

*  Wash the sheets

*  Go to Sonic for some tea

*  Go to Kroger for PAM cooking spray

*  Wash dishes

*  Clean the kitchen cabinet

*  Start a Christmas project

*  Make the bed with the clean sheets

*  Do Pilates

*  Make my lunch for work

*  Work on a Mod Podge project

*  Fix supper

*  Wash dishes again

*  Water the garden

*  Take a crummy picture of a little frog with my crummy phone

See his cute little feet...

AND...(back to my list)

* Color this yak...

Hmmmm, I never did write but I got a lot of other things done and made a lovely page in my 

Smash Book!

 Oh well, love to all!

MUMS The Word!!

The mums have arrived at Kroger's and that is one of the first signs that fall is just around the corner!

I am totally thrilled!

I worked in my garden (containers) all afternoon and everyone looks like a boy who has been to the barber and got a severe haircut! LOL  I completely tossed a few but most of them needed some tender loving care and serious watering and fertilizing.  We will see how they do but I hope some of them will give a last blast of beauty before fall settles in with us. 

My babies are looking shorn but soooo much better than they did!!  Won't be long til some mums are out on the porch and I can't wait!

We cooked a lot today and had some wonderful food:

Tracy baked two loaves of rye bread and it is just delicious!

The dough for Carrot/Walnut bread is rising now and it smells so good! 

I AM a pizza freak and Tracy feeds me well!

We bought these green beans last weekend at the Nashville Farmer's Market and I steamed them tonight and seriously they are the best green beans I have ever eaten!  They had no additives, no sugar, no salt, no bacon grease, nothing but green beans steamed in water and they are so delicious I may eat them all tonight!  

All is well at the Trogdon's homestead and we wish all of you would come visit us soon!!

LOVE!