Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Some Christmas Past
Here are some random pictures of Christmas. I love you all and wish you the merriest Christmas of all. We are so blessed, aren't we? :)
Saturday, December 17, 2011
I Feel Like A Number
I used to say, "the less you do, the less you wanna do" and "the more you do, the more you wanna do" and that was pretty true. Now I say, "the more ya do, the less you wanna do." Age does change so many things. It is more than just a number. At least physically...
In my head I feel the same as I have always felt. Nothing much has changed there. But physically, oh my gosh, just miss a few days walking and it feels like starting over. And my poor right arm doesn't stand a chance...radial artery transection from my heart cath and now this awful contusion...it hurts ALL the time and I wonder if it will ever get better. Yes, it has improved some but the deep, dark ache is always there and if I turn it wrong, I want to cry :(
It's just all so surreal, being older and my body starting to let me down but I'm still the same silly, hyper me. My head is still 13 and my body feels 113 at times. The frustration is maddening some days. Eat right, exercise, don't smoke, don't stress, stop those Mt. Dews, take these pills...I long for all those years I was healthy and didn't even know to appreciate it. I guess years from now I'll look back at these days and see how great they were. Oh me...
It's Christmastime (thanks for looking that up, Miranda) but it doesn't really feel like it to me. I have been trying to focus on the true meaning and listening to everyone say it's not about gifts and stuff but really it IS about being able to get those you love something special. This year I'd planned to hand make my gifts for the adults but I injured my right hand. Lol haven't had a check in three weeks so not gonna be doing much Christmas shopping and I just don't feel good, mentally or physically, so I lay around and look at pinterest and Facebook and watch the few shows I like on TV. The steroids make me manic, the pain pills make me nauseous and sluggish, and this roller coaster ride is getting very old.
I know in the big scheme of things all of this is meaningless. There are people in frightening, treacherous, painful, and hopeless situations. I am just a whiner who needs to count my blessings and shut up. So I will...Merry Christmas to all and most of all thank You, Father, for the most perfect gift of all, Jesus, Who gives me fresh mercies and restores my soul every day of my life. O come, let us adore HIM...love!
In my head I feel the same as I have always felt. Nothing much has changed there. But physically, oh my gosh, just miss a few days walking and it feels like starting over. And my poor right arm doesn't stand a chance...radial artery transection from my heart cath and now this awful contusion...it hurts ALL the time and I wonder if it will ever get better. Yes, it has improved some but the deep, dark ache is always there and if I turn it wrong, I want to cry :(
It's just all so surreal, being older and my body starting to let me down but I'm still the same silly, hyper me. My head is still 13 and my body feels 113 at times. The frustration is maddening some days. Eat right, exercise, don't smoke, don't stress, stop those Mt. Dews, take these pills...I long for all those years I was healthy and didn't even know to appreciate it. I guess years from now I'll look back at these days and see how great they were. Oh me...
It's Christmastime (thanks for looking that up, Miranda) but it doesn't really feel like it to me. I have been trying to focus on the true meaning and listening to everyone say it's not about gifts and stuff but really it IS about being able to get those you love something special. This year I'd planned to hand make my gifts for the adults but I injured my right hand. Lol haven't had a check in three weeks so not gonna be doing much Christmas shopping and I just don't feel good, mentally or physically, so I lay around and look at pinterest and Facebook and watch the few shows I like on TV. The steroids make me manic, the pain pills make me nauseous and sluggish, and this roller coaster ride is getting very old.
I know in the big scheme of things all of this is meaningless. There are people in frightening, treacherous, painful, and hopeless situations. I am just a whiner who needs to count my blessings and shut up. So I will...Merry Christmas to all and most of all thank You, Father, for the most perfect gift of all, Jesus, Who gives me fresh mercies and restores my soul every day of my life. O come, let us adore HIM...love!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Workmens "Comp"less
Ever been hurt on the job? I don't recommend it. This is the first time I've been hurt at work and I started nursing way back in 1985. Seems like a million years ago but I was young and excited and thrilled with that $7.14/hour! Lol so much has changed.
Now I'm fairly burnt out and although I make more money it never seems to be enough :) Honestly I'm very blessed but the 66 2/3% of $7.50 I'll be getting paid for my laundry folding this past weekend probably won't pay many bills and just forget Christmas. But the company paid a cab $89 for a one-way trip for me to fold that laundry. Hmmmm they can pay cab company nearly $200 to transport me but only pay me 2/3 of minimum wage...I'm not feeling the love! And the professionalism is non-existent.
Soooo I did fold laundry for two 12-hour shifts this weekend and my injured right hand is worse and my uninjured left shoulder now barely moves. I'm off that horrible "light duty" again and will be reevaluated tomorrow. I told the nursing home administrator that I felt folding laundry with one arm caused my left shoulder pain and she replied she does it all the time. Nothing like a little one-armed laundry folding to start your administrative day! Yeah right!
Today I get my 3rd session of therapy. I'm excited and hoping it will involve some, you know, therapy! The 1st day included ice for 10 minutes, moving putty with my fingers for 5 minutes capped off with 3 sets of 10 thumb circles. Session 2 was 10 minutes of ice, an evaluation of my workspace to determine if it could be improved (my hand was swollen and I could barely move it after 1 1/2 hours of laundry folding earlier that morning) and after much consideration it was determined that it could not be improved and I was instructed to do 3 sets of 10 thumb circles AT HOME!!! Okay, once again, I am not feeling the love!
This ordeal has been a nightmare and I am considering new professions. Any suggestions? I have taken care of sick people for 26 years, cleaned dirty butts, wiped up vomit, literally skied through pools of blood in the floor, I have laid on the altar of nursing punishment, and this is my reward. Now I am injured, AT WORK, and this is how I'm treated. How sad! Needless to say I am very blue but still hopeful that this will all turn around at some point. Time will tell :)
Postscript: Carle Hospital in Urbana called Tracy's phone yesterday, he answered and they asked for me. Due to my close proximity he handed me the phone!!! Oh my gosh! What do I do?? Hello? The sickening sweet-voiced woman on the other end informed me that she hated to bill me for the $61,000 that my insurance declined to pay but it looked like she was going to have to do so...silly woman, give it a whirl!!!
LAUGH OUT LOUD!
(can they repossess my stent??)
Now I'm fairly burnt out and although I make more money it never seems to be enough :) Honestly I'm very blessed but the 66 2/3% of $7.50 I'll be getting paid for my laundry folding this past weekend probably won't pay many bills and just forget Christmas. But the company paid a cab $89 for a one-way trip for me to fold that laundry. Hmmmm they can pay cab company nearly $200 to transport me but only pay me 2/3 of minimum wage...I'm not feeling the love! And the professionalism is non-existent.
Soooo I did fold laundry for two 12-hour shifts this weekend and my injured right hand is worse and my uninjured left shoulder now barely moves. I'm off that horrible "light duty" again and will be reevaluated tomorrow. I told the nursing home administrator that I felt folding laundry with one arm caused my left shoulder pain and she replied she does it all the time. Nothing like a little one-armed laundry folding to start your administrative day! Yeah right!
Today I get my 3rd session of therapy. I'm excited and hoping it will involve some, you know, therapy! The 1st day included ice for 10 minutes, moving putty with my fingers for 5 minutes capped off with 3 sets of 10 thumb circles. Session 2 was 10 minutes of ice, an evaluation of my workspace to determine if it could be improved (my hand was swollen and I could barely move it after 1 1/2 hours of laundry folding earlier that morning) and after much consideration it was determined that it could not be improved and I was instructed to do 3 sets of 10 thumb circles AT HOME!!! Okay, once again, I am not feeling the love!
This ordeal has been a nightmare and I am considering new professions. Any suggestions? I have taken care of sick people for 26 years, cleaned dirty butts, wiped up vomit, literally skied through pools of blood in the floor, I have laid on the altar of nursing punishment, and this is my reward. Now I am injured, AT WORK, and this is how I'm treated. How sad! Needless to say I am very blue but still hopeful that this will all turn around at some point. Time will tell :)
Postscript: Carle Hospital in Urbana called Tracy's phone yesterday, he answered and they asked for me. Due to my close proximity he handed me the phone!!! Oh my gosh! What do I do?? Hello? The sickening sweet-voiced woman on the other end informed me that she hated to bill me for the $61,000 that my insurance declined to pay but it looked like she was going to have to do so...silly woman, give it a whirl!!!
LAUGH OUT LOUD!
(can they repossess my stent??)
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